First topic message reminder :

Figured I should just make a topic for these lol

*boy whispers to his mom during a wedding*
boy: "Mommy?"
mom: "What?"
boy: "Why is the girl dressed in white?"
mom: "Because this is the happiest day of her life."
boy: "... so why is the boy dressed in black?"

Before Marriage-
Boy: I have been waiting for this day.
Girl: Do u want me to leave??
Boy: NO!!!!
Girl: Do u love me?
Boy: Of Course
Girl: Will u ever cheat on me??
Boy: Never in my life
Girl: Will u ever kiss me?
Boy: Every chance i get
Girl: Will u hit me??
Boy: Are u crazzy..!
Girl: Can i trust u??
Boy: Yes..!!
Girl: Sweet Heart..!
-After Marriage-
(now read from bottom to top)

mario: is there a problem officer?
cop: quite a few actually, first off you're speeding.
mario: well yeah i have to win this race.
cop: illegal street racing on the wrong side of the road?
mario: well when you put it like that..
cop: and littering that banana you threw back there caused an accident.
mario: yeah about that..wario was all up in my shit so i had to do something.
cop: did you have any drugs before you started driving sir?
mario: nah man. but i just got a couple mushrooms.
cop: step out of the car please.
mario: fine but this is gonna kill my chance at the star cup. you're practically handing it to donkey kong.
cop: donkey kong..?
mario: the gorilla..
cop: step. out. of. the. car.

aah so pleased this topic is back!

Gf: Hey babe? What would you say if I told you i was pregnant?
Bf: Well I guess I would have to stay with you and we would raise our child. idk
Gf: What would you do if i told you it wasnt yours? Hypothetically..
Bf: I would kill you ... hypothetically...
Gf: Well its a good thing its yours
Bf: Are you **** serious?? ._.

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"A key that opens many locks is considered a master key; a lock that is opened by many keys is a sh*tty lock" ahh the joys of double standards.